Lake Superior

from 2018 Songs by Clara Balmer

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lyrics

Trying to move myself
will I regret falling down?
the others jumped before me
promising no injury
it's just a little cliff
the decision could be quick
but I peer over the edge
and age another minute

What stops me is the fear that what's stopping me is more than fear
that maybe I was made to take small steps only
I want to be safe forever

Maybe the water wants to welcome me
the lake to take my body
but the surface moves as if it wouldn't even notice me
I can't convince my legs to leap
I can't submit to gravity
I'm closer to the Earth than to the sky

The sort of life I lead depends on sorting through the things I fear
but maybe I am better off without adventure
I want to exist forever

To be in Lake Superior seems simple to acheive
but I'm not losing my footing
the size of the horizon is safer than the shoreline
as long as I'm not reaching I am only looking

But do astronauts' and lion tamers' fears do them any favors?
Maybe there is time to surprise myself
I want to be remembered forever

Something in me shifts
the rock falls, my body lifts
now nothing underneath me but the space and waves
I'm giving in to cosmic will
for motion over staying still
the weightlessness is heaven
and the moment lasts forever

And there were lessons all along
in fears I would overcome
and maybe being beaten wouldn't be so bad
My fears can be of use to me
by lighting paths I hadn't seen
and maybe that's the only part of life worth living
I want to be fearful forever

credits

from 2018 Songs, released December 31, 2018

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Clara Balmer Ypsilanti, Michigan

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